Noticing Old Programming

For our entire lives we have said to ourselves time and time again if I only had the time, energy, space I would….

What I am hearing echoed by many of us, is that now that we have all of those things, we are finding ourselves feeling uncertain about what we should be doing with them. We are feeling restless and complacent, even worried that we are wasting this gift and that we will regret it. Some of us are even welcoming back the life we hated just a few short weeks ago in order to escape the discomfort of noticing what we have created for ourselves.

A lot of our present discomforts are being triggered by the break in old patterns and programming

. Most of us have lived in a very structured environment for most of our lives and many have been what society deems as successful there. We were comfortable, it was sustainable and we tried not to rock the boat.

However, if we were to measure success in fulfillment, rather than financial gain we often find that our success doesn’t really feel that successful and we begin to realize that we are not as comfortable as we have been telling ourselves.

The constant busy of the normal everyday has allowed us to ignore or distract from these feelings. I believe that during this time many of us are being given the opportunity to change the way we measure success. We are being given the opportunity to redefine normal for ourselves by using this time and space to be present with ourselves.

Structure has been designed to keep us distracted. Always poised for the next thing. Always trying to fit something else in. Stillness is uncomfortable. Meeting our own needs feels selfish, even lazy. Being present feels unnatural. Holding space without judgement feels impossible. Loving ourselves feels almost dirty.

It is during this time that we are being asked to notice this old belief structure and to be aware of how it is affecting us in each present moment. To ask ourselves how it is serving us and why we choose to hold onto it.

When we begin to notice ourselves on a deeper level, our thoughts, our feelings, our reactions and interactions, our programmed responses and automatic behaviors, from a place of curiosity, rather than judgment we empower ourselves to change whatever we choose about how we are showing up and the energy that we are bringing with us.

One of the struggles that we face as we move from the old structure into this new way of being, is feeling uncertainty. We have been taught to seek approval outside of ourselves to reassure us that we are doing the “right” thing. It is this very need, that often keeps us stuck on the hamster wheel. In order to get off you must begin to trust yourself.

No one outside of you, can truly know what is the best use of your energy and focus. Your work is to discover this truth for yourself, and can only be done through present moment curiosity.

This practice begins quite simply, notice how you feel and what is happening when you feel that way- do this both when you feel good and when you feel bad. You may find it helpful to take notes.

Once you have done the noticing this is often where the real work begins. We often translate taking responsibility into feeling ashamed. This is normal, again we have been raised in a society where shaming has been used for generations to get us to fall in line.

Our work here is to redefine this for ourselves. We can begin to do this by deciding that taking responsibility doesn’t have to involve shame, blame or even judgement. Instead we can recognize our old patterns as unconscious and begin to implement tools and strategies that help us be present and conscious as we move forward. We can’t go back and change the past, but we can take responsibility for the energy we create in each present moment.

Another place that we can get stuck is trying to force ourselves to feel better, when we are stuck. This again is old programming that is saying what you are needing now is less important than the end result. The truth is if you don’t hold space now, you will see few results. Ask yourself what is it that I need right now and allow an answer. Sometimes you will be called to sit with or express how you are feeling, other times you find you need to focus on something else or even just rest.

We have been taught to work against ourselves, to struggle without external guidance. We have been made to feel guilty for our basic human needs and shamed when we question our discontent.

It is time now to gently remind ourselves that it is okay to meet our needs. It’s okay to need something that does not “look” productive. It’s okay to feel good, bad, happy, sad, blissful, exhausted or anything else at any given time and it’s okay to honor those feelings and meet the need that they may be signaling.

Remember that how you feel is a signal to you about what you are creating through your choices and how it is affecting your entire being. Ignoring how you feel doesn’t change it, it actually perpetuates it.

So, how do you know if you are spending your time on a worthy or unworthy cause? The answer is simple, notice how you feel. If it feels good or better move toward it, if it feels bad or worse move away. Does this mean you will avoid some things that you “should” be doing? Maybe, but as you practice, solutions will present themselves if you are open and present.

I have laid this all out so simply and for some it is, but for most of us there are a lot of old blocks that stand in our way of true present moment living, and having the right tools and support are an essential part of our success.

In the next several blogs we will take time to explore some common blocks and tools that can be used to support us as we move into this new level of awareness.

Tomorrow, we will look at our creative process and how we can allow it to serve us instead of allowing it to keep us stuck.

I hope that you are able to take away exactly what you need and leave behind anything else!!

May You Be Your Own Blessing!!

Crystal*

www.crystalclarity5,wixsite.com/awakening