What to do when you’re not okay!!

We have focused a lot in the last week on how to keep your energy up, to be optimistic, and be responsible for the energy that you are bringing to the table.

So today I would like to address the elephant in the room…

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE ENERGY YOU HAVE TO OFFER SUCKS AND YOU CAN’T SEEM TO SHIFT AND YOU HAVE USED ALL YOUR TOOLS AND NOTHING IS WORKING AND YOU JUST WANT TO SCREAM……WHY??????????????

First, take a deep breath and acknowledge however you are feeling in that moment.

If you are in the middle of an energy exchange (someone else is present) excuse yourself. It is wonderful to step outdoors or if you feel you need privacy the restroom may be the best option available, washing your hands in cool water will help to ground you. Going to sit in your car can sometimes be a great option as well, storing some support items here like snacks, crystals or a blanket can be wonderful.

Once you find your safe space, ask yourself, what do I need right now?

Be still and listen for the answer, you will get one and you should respond to it.

If it is unreasonable or undoable then be curious about this. Why do I want that? Why do I think it’s unreasonable? Is it really? Why is it undoable? Is it really? Often you will be quite surprised by what you find.

Quite often what you need is simple. You may just want to feel how you are feeling: For example you may just want to be mad. This absolutely fine if your time is not limited, stay by yourself and be as mad as you want to be for as long as you want to be. Yell, scream, acknowledge how you feel and let it go. When you are done stop again, breathe and ask the question again: What do I need right now? Repeat the process. If you aren’t in a place where you have the option to just be mad, reach for a better feeling, think about how you may make the best of the current situation, while setting the intention to process it fully later.

Or even easier, I am thirsty, hungry, tired, stressed etc. In which case you drink, eat, sleep or relax. Often times feeling bad comes from the fact that we are not taking the time to meet our most basic needs. If you aren’t in a place where you can meet the need, ask yourself what you can do for now and how you can best support yourself next time. For example packing your lunch or going to bed earlier.

Other times the answer is confusing or overwhelming or I don’t know what I need, I feel like I am spinning out of control or even I don’t care what I need I give up!!

The best advice I have in these overwhelming moments is, Do Nothing until you know what to do. So, just sit and breath and acknowledge that you feel out of control, if sitting still is too much rock or pace (tapping is another great tool) as you breathe deeply and meet yourself in this uncomfortable place. Cry if you need to, rant, debate, just get it out of your system. Yes, you may look a little crazy, but I would rather look crazy than feel/be crazy!! If you’re really struggling with the idea of someone seeing you find a place to be alone, if there are no other options the bathroom works very well!! Journaling can sometimes be helpful, but it is important to use it as a place to unwind and discover not to complain, blame or perpetuate old energy.

You may find yourself exhausted and needing to shut down, that is okay. Sleep helps us reset. Let yourself rest if that is what you feel like is needed. A shower or bath with some salts and oils can often be helpful as well.

Remember this work is not easy, but it is worth it. Ideally, if we wake up practicing alignment, we find ourselves in the last scenario less and less and even when we do find ourselves there we get better at not staying stuck there.

Here are some tips and reminders that can help us as we continue to focus our energy in the ways that work best for us:

*If it feels bad stop. When something feels bad it is a signal to stop and pay attention to how you are feeling and why. Doing this helps us to proceed from a place of clarity and integrity.

*If you need it, honor it. Whether you need space, a creative outlet, a new job, or to just be heard, the most important thing you can do each day is honor your needs first. When we do not honor ourselves, we do not have the energy to honor others and this is a painful exchange.

*Thinking about it, will not change it or solve it, it can only perpetuate the problem. Instead have faith that you will know what to do when the time comes to make a decision and find something else to do that feels better.

How often have you let something go, only to suddenly find that the answer shows up? The more often you allow this to happen the easier it gets to trust that it will and the less likely you are to worry or overthink.

If it still bothers you, look at it again and ask yourself:

Is there anything I can do right now that will improve the situation?

If there is, then do it. If not, find something that feels better to do. Focusing on the problem only serves to make the problem feel bigger and sometimes even get bigger, depending on how you react to your feelings!

*When you notice that you are causing unnecessary discomfort for yourself, acknowledge it, breathe and reach for something that feels better. Remember, it is hard to go from 0 to 60, so if you’re feeling terrible don’t reach for blissful, instead reach for okay first, then maybe good and great, then blissful.

With practice you will be able to shift faster and faster!!

*Remember to meet yourself where you are and be okay with it. The better you get at this the faster you will be able to process your emotions and less you feel bad!!

*When emotional awareness becomes a natural practice, feeling good becomes as easy and natural as feeling bad used to be!!

*Don’t forget to ask for help from someone who has it to give. It’s hard for us to see our own stuff sometimes, even when we are doing our best. Asking for help is one of the bravest and most helpful things we can do, however it is important to ask for it from a healthy source. If we are depleting others in an attempt to meet our own needs we will remain stuck and hurt them and ourselves in the process.

As human beings, we all struggle and that is normal. Learning how to manage ourselves (thoughts, emotions, reactions, interactions and creative exchanges) is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves and the world.

I believe it is during this time that we are being called to do just that.

I send you Love and the Highest Vibrations to support you as you learn to slow down and listen to yourself in a way that builds trust and confidence that will carry you into a whole new level of living!!

May You Be Blessed and a Blessing,

Crystal*